I want to learn how to fart on command because I think it'd be an excellent passive aggressive way to get back at people who annoy me. I realized this yesterday when a car pulled all the way into the crosswalk at a stop sign, making me have to go around his stupid SUV and practically into the intersection, so I ripped one on his grill and gave a nice smile and head nod. Felt great bridesmaid wears look glittered and shiny :)