Ok.. This is probably gonna be a long ass shitpost
# sarahah

<shitpost>

OK.. Let me see if I figured this out alright..

So.. I pick a platform.. Supposedly meant for anonymous constructive criticism and self introspection, in a workspace..

Get a profile there and desperately make it public.. Probably even mass forward it on whatsapp!

Then I wait for the shitstorm to hit..

When it does.. I go dig that crap up and pick out a few of them fancy, funny looking turds.. You know the kind that that wouldn't make me look like the constipated little shit that I actually am..

Then I pick one of those fancy pieces and splat it out on my wall..
You know.. One of those things, to which I could come up with the funniest fanciest response to.. Not necessarily the response the question would receive in a normal scenario.. But just some funny smelling gas.. Cos screw introspection right?
<insert one of those loud harmless farts after which the whole room laughs feelings, and LMAO emoticons here>
<I should remember to use seemingly appropriate hashtags too>

I should continue loud farts over and over and over again... Just to the point where my cohabitators almost feel it is starting to smell and is no longer funny..

I do this a few times back to back (pathetic attempt at a pun right.?), making sure there are brief moments of relief in between.. But when the shit seems to be getting too old.. I decide to pick up one of those serious looking turd balls for a change and say something equally deep about it..
Again.. Not the middle finger to your face that it would otherwise receive.. But there is no face, and I kinda wanna post it in public while still saving my face right.. So one of those responses.. No?
<insert passing a silent nasty fart in a crowded space, and getting away with it feeling plus a smirk emoticon here>
<hashtags.. dont forget hashtags>

Once I've done that, would probably be when I realise that it could be a little messy.. I mean.. In all likelihood, I would have already actually responded the exact opposite of what I said, to the same question, from an actual person with an actual face, who might have been kind enough to privately ask me that same question or given me that same suggestion, in person..! long maxi wears which look beautiful
This is like one of em wet farts.. You twitch your legs and cross them over and hope against hope that some of that bad shit doesn't get out in the open..
<well.. Insert above feeling and appropriate emoticon, if any, here>

Oh.. Too many of those wet farts and I know that something actually may be wrong and that I might need to revisit things (yes, again, please excuse the pathetic pun attempt)..
That introspection purpose of the platform.. I think this is where it might be kicking in.. Yea?

So.. It has been all fun and games till now.. So I'm pretty certain the shit will hit the ceiling anytime now..

You know we all have those few, the mere thought of whose existence is enough to make one wanna throw up.? (few?.. Really?.. Who am I kidding here?)
With anonymity, I may have just given em a free pass to serve me some spoilt stuff and mess with my system..
It's like stale food disguised with fancy dressing.. Stuff that I would gladly gobble up, but is sure to give me bad loosies later..
Like an idea that is planted which makes you ponder much later..
You know.. the kinda stuff you might end up expelling with a lotta difficulty.. Yet you somehow manage to ruminate that one miniscule bit much later and wanna throw up all over again.? That kinda stuff!

A few of these loosies and I'm sure I'll be down.. Sick in the tummy.. Sick in the head and in desperate need of help..
That's some serious shit!
A few too many could actually kill no?

By this point.. People already know that my loo is a dirty smelly wreck!

I shoulda probably smacked myself in the head and stopped myself from touching those starters, especially when I know that the rest of it is pretty much mostly crap!

There is still some saving grace though...
Hopefully...
Like most digestive disorders.. This too shall pass!!!?? (ha.. finally.. Not a bad pun attempt eh?)

.
..
... Do I have it figured out okay???

# shitpost # introspection # outloud # meh
See.. I didn't forget em hashtags!
I actually scrolled and put one right up top, just for kicks!

</shitpost>

PS : I'm sorry if you found this a little too over the top.. Some of those had the effect I guess.. Couldnt really help it.. Just went with the flow (face-palm @ pun)..
But to be just.. Some of those posts.. I actually did enjoy reading and liking and even commented on a few.. Was good fun.. So.. Not all of it was as crappy as I may have made it seem.. :)